I have a hot topic this week. It’s a sensitive one and I don’t wish to offend anyone, so I’ll try to be gentle but honest. I’ll keep it brief but try to give you some insight into my concern in the hope that it might stimulate some conversation. There are not many comments coming in the other direction guys!
My thoughts relate to our perspective of integrity and tolerance of personally unacceptable behavior. This initially rose as an idea during a conversation between myself and a fuzzy friend. He was commenting on my Dad’s prestigious career title and said that I clearly didn’t have as much integrity as him. I said “How rude!” in response and he asked if he had perhaps misunderstood the meaning of integrity. I quickly sent him the web link to a definition ☺. I find myself saying things, thinking in ways and acting in ways here in Coo that I would not consider acceptable at home. Is it just a lack of accountability and my slow decline, or a normal cultural adjustment that needs to be on a leash?
My conversation with my friend got me thinking about how seemingly moral niceties or what one might term moral truths are not necessarily cross-cultural, and certainly don’t always cross into the business arena. My boss often invites me into his office to have a gentle chat in which he humbly admits a cultural flaw or more often, a cultural or ethical difference that I’m not used to and guides me how to work with it rather than against it. Recently, I’ve been running into the same problem time and time again when more than one of my colleagues have asked me for a seemingly innocuous piece of information such as a deadline or whether I’ve completed something, and when I’ve answered, I’ve inadvertently caused trouble for my boss. I’ve learnt the lesson now, but what I didn’t realize is that the people requesting the information knew they shouldn’t be asking me, which I would personally judge as a lack of integrity. Some may say taking advantage of naivety!
Dictionary.com defines integrity as:
1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship's hull.
A sense of integrity, or as per an expanded version of the definition above, an adherence to the commonly accepted moral or ethical principles, can be achieved and expected in a workplace if one and all know those accepted principles. Naturally, we must accept personal opinions, behaviors and style differences in order to be tolerant of others, but if there is a set of moral standards that guide the way humans interact with one another in order to believe what one says is truth, and what one does is not going to lead to harm of another, then I believe it should be our duty to respect those standards.
There is however, a problem when the standards are not known. Moving to Doo has meant trying to understand a new set of moral standards, accepting cultural differences, learning tolerance of attitudes, opinions and behaviors that I wouldn’t tolerate in my home country and learning to be MUCH better at keeping my mouth closed when I want to rebuke or argue a point. I can hear some of you laughing. I guess learning such standards of another culture happens over time, from making mistakes or being warned by citizens of the culture or watching another person’s mistake.
What should happen though when we disagree with one of the standards? Not mildly disagree which could be tolerated, but vehemently disagree? For example, that it is acceptable to tell or act a lie, or that women are second-degree citizens?
I personally struggle with tolerance of lots of behaviors and attitudes (many of you will know that watching or hearing someone bite their nails or cut them can reduce me to angry tears!), and I’m convinced that my intolerance is related to my pride in thinking that what I do or think is right and what others do is wrong, whatever the topic. I’m sorry for it, and I’m even more ashamed to admit that my tolerance for anything to do with other peoples’ nails hasn’t increased over time. Ha ha. My reaction has improved slightly – I think I hit my brother on more than one occasion and I certainly haven’t done that for a long time. Getting over such sad intolerance should be a matter of willpower and seeking assistance from above. Therefore, should intolerance of a more important matter be managed in the same way? I think so. But what does willpower look like when we’re objecting to an immoral practice that is only immoral by one’s own standards? Is it trying very hard to ignore the behavior and avoid looking annoyed? Is it trying to maintain one’s own integrity and hoping to lead by example? Is it speaking out against the practice and persisting in trying to change the practice? Is it writing on blogs and talking to friends and offering it frequently up?
I have more thoughts about the collective behavior of foreigners living as temporary citizens in Doo, but I'd like to save them for another occasion.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Language Funnies
There’s something really fun about learning a new language that takes one back to childhood. The profanities are usually funny, and the insults even funnier. My new favorite phrase this week is Mafi mook. It means “no brain”, and it is frequently used exclamation, especially when one is being childlike! I used it this morning for Abu Majeed who agreed to take a friend and me to Deira Souk, an approx 30min drive. We got there and then he remembered to tell us that since it was Friday morning, all the shops and markets in the city are closed until 4pm. Something I should possibly have remembered, but would have been helpful coming from my native taxi driver before we got there. Mafi mook Abu Majeed!
Earlier in the week, I received a memo from department in the hospital. I’d asked them to provide me a fuzzy / hospital definition for next-of-kin relative which we required for our consent policy. The response was “First-class relatives; father, brother and son”. Naturally, I had expected to receive only males for next-of-kin but I was quite shocked by the first-class title. I showed it to a female fuzzy friend who was shocked and didn’t know what to say. This gave me courage to discuss it with my boss, because I was really unhappy about including the words “first-class” in my policy. I brought it up gingerly with Khalid and he laughed, thought for a while and said, oh they mean “first degree” relatives. Oh of course! FYI, for legal witness under fuzzy-law, the witnesses must be either 2 fuzzy males or a fuzzy male and 2 fuzzy women. This applies to our legal hospital consent also.
Earlier in the week, I received a memo from department in the hospital. I’d asked them to provide me a fuzzy / hospital definition for next-of-kin relative which we required for our consent policy. The response was “First-class relatives; father, brother and son”. Naturally, I had expected to receive only males for next-of-kin but I was quite shocked by the first-class title. I showed it to a female fuzzy friend who was shocked and didn’t know what to say. This gave me courage to discuss it with my boss, because I was really unhappy about including the words “first-class” in my policy. I brought it up gingerly with Khalid and he laughed, thought for a while and said, oh they mean “first degree” relatives. Oh of course! FYI, for legal witness under fuzzy-law, the witnesses must be either 2 fuzzy males or a fuzzy male and 2 fuzzy women. This applies to our legal hospital consent also.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Food, glorious food
Nearly every time I have the first conversation with a friend or family member since leaving Australasia, the person wants to know about what I eat here. I’ve hesitated in devoting a blog to the topic because I think it’s going to be really boring, but today I’m feeling like a risk taker. Besides, it’s not like I have any idea who reads my blog and who doesn’t!
In general, the food that I eat for breakfast lunch and dinner doesn’t differ from what I eat in Melbourne. I don’t have a microwave at home and weetbix are bought in packets of 12 (3 days worth for me), so I eat cereal instead. The quality of cheese and bread is quite poor here compared to home (similar to American processed items for those of you who are familiar), so I eat less of both. I haven’t found dips in any stores yet (e.g. hommus, babaganoush, pesto etc), so that’s been disappointing and has caused a substantial drop on my potato chip intake. I have consumed more soda in the past 5mths than I had in the previous 5 years. There’s something about fizzy caffeinated cold drinks when it’s hot and dry! Beer that has no alcohol tastes ok for the purposes of cooking but is not fizzy enough to enjoy as a drink. My coffee intake has gone up considerably despite not being able to find particularly nice coffee beans. They're on my Australasian shopping list for March.
I was talking with an Australian-Scottish friend this morning about how it’s easy to forget that all countries are slowly become more and more familiar to us due to the ease of travel, migration and technology. I’m not sure that they’re all becoming more alike, but, even Doo, which remains fairly isolated from the rest of the world, has enough influence from the rest of the world that the differences are becoming less noticeable. As a result of these changes, New Zealand and Australia have such a rich culture of their own accord that I believe has been enhanced considerably by the immigrants we receive. It is so simple to go out for dinner and choose from an Indian, Thai, Mexican, Afghani, Chinese, Lebanese, Japanese or Italian cuisine. Our supermarkets have an enormous variety of food, so it’s not really that unexpected to come here and find that the food is similar, even if there are traditional native meals. I think we actually have more variety of the same types of food in NZ than anywhere else I have been, probably because we import such a lot of our long-life food due to our weenie size.
I was discussing our NZ / Australian traditional food with some native friends yesterday and I explained that really since I was a child, the style of cooking has changed dramatically. It’s common for people to cook Thai meals, Chinese, Mexican etc at home for main meals rather than our basic standard of meat and three veges. I suspect that even my grandparents have changed their style of cooking dramatically since they were first married. I’d like to view a history of Australasian cookbooks and to consider the cuisine in them; I’m sure many of the seemingly standard dishes will have originated from Asia.
All supermarkets here sell more than just food. Rather than just a token aisle with batteries, large old-lady undies and 10 type of men’s socks, you can buy anything from a coffee pot to a heater, mobile phone to computers, label clothing to label or fake-label watches to fresh fruit and meat at any supermarket. All stores sell things in large quantities and people tend to buy things in bulk. I guess it’s because very few people have a store within walking distance, so one doesn’t want to have to go every second day. I haven’t noticed anything strange on the shelves except in the meat section. Camel and ostrich meat are available in large quantities. Fresh ostrich meat looks absolutely disgusting (like it’s dripping in blood), but despite wanting to avoid looking at it as I reach for the ground beef, I can’t help myself but to stare. The ostrich eggs sitting beside it are quite impressive looking too – very large (think big Cadbury Easter egg size) with a thick green shell. I think you’d only need one for an omelette, but I’m not brave enough to try it yet. I do want to try hashi (camel) at some point, but I’ll wait until I trust the cook.
Eating out and takeaway food is reasonably cheap and I think that people either have a cook or they order in – few natives seem to cook for themselves. Most of the women I work with order their lunch in everyday, often from places only slightly healthier than McDonald’s (which of course, is freely available).
One last little comment; if one pays in cash (which most people seem to) and the change you’re entitled to is less than one riyal, it’s common for the cashier to round down to the closest riyal and given you some sugary chewing gum instead of coins. I’m not sure why. I’ve received a few 50 halala coins and 10 packets of gum since I arrived.
Saliq - Arabian Lamb with rice
* 2 pounds lamb cut into 1 inch cubes
* 3 medium onions, finely chopped
* 2 tablesppoons fresh cilantro, finely chopped
* Salt and pepper to taste
* 2 cups milk
* 2 cups rice
* 4 tablespoons butter, melted
METHOD
Simmer meat, onions, cilantro, salt and pepper in 1 cup water in a covered saucepan over low heat for one hour. Add water if pot dries. Remove meat, set aside in warm spot.
Add 2 cups water and milk to stock in which meat was cooked. Bring to a boil. Stir in rice, cover and cook very gently over low heat until the rice is nearly cooked, about 15 minutes. Turn off heat and allow to steam 10 minutes longer.
Place rice on a large serving platter. Arrange pieces of meat on top. Pour melted butter over rice and meat. Serve with a vegetable salad.
Serves: 6
Chicken Kabsa
Chicken kabsa is one of the most popular dishes in Doo. It is considered a staple.
* 1 2/12 - 3 pound chicken, cut into eight pieces
* 1/4 cup vegetable oil
* 2 medium onions, sliced
* 1 (12 ounce) can tomato puree
* 2 medium tomatoes, chopped
* 4 cloves garlic, crushed
* 2 medium carrots, grated
* Grated rind of one orange
* 4 cloves
* 4 cardamom pods
* 3 sticks cinnamon
* Sale and pepper to taste
* 1 pound long grain rice
* 1/4 cup raisins
* 1/4 cup sliced almonds and toasted pinenuts
METHOD
Sautee onion in oil until it begins to brown. Add chicken pieces, tomato puree, chopped tomatoes and garlic and stir for about five minutes over low heat. Stir in three cups hot water, grated carrot, orange rind, spices, salt and pepper to taste. Cook over medium heat, covered, about 20-25 minutes, until chicken is done.
Remove chicken. Set aside to keep warm. Stir rice into the liquid inthe pan, and cook, covered over low heat for about 35 - 40 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed.
Put rice on a serving platter with chicken pieces arranged around the circumfrence. Toss raisins and almonds over all.
Serves: 6
In general, the food that I eat for breakfast lunch and dinner doesn’t differ from what I eat in Melbourne. I don’t have a microwave at home and weetbix are bought in packets of 12 (3 days worth for me), so I eat cereal instead. The quality of cheese and bread is quite poor here compared to home (similar to American processed items for those of you who are familiar), so I eat less of both. I haven’t found dips in any stores yet (e.g. hommus, babaganoush, pesto etc), so that’s been disappointing and has caused a substantial drop on my potato chip intake. I have consumed more soda in the past 5mths than I had in the previous 5 years. There’s something about fizzy caffeinated cold drinks when it’s hot and dry! Beer that has no alcohol tastes ok for the purposes of cooking but is not fizzy enough to enjoy as a drink. My coffee intake has gone up considerably despite not being able to find particularly nice coffee beans. They're on my Australasian shopping list for March.
I was talking with an Australian-Scottish friend this morning about how it’s easy to forget that all countries are slowly become more and more familiar to us due to the ease of travel, migration and technology. I’m not sure that they’re all becoming more alike, but, even Doo, which remains fairly isolated from the rest of the world, has enough influence from the rest of the world that the differences are becoming less noticeable. As a result of these changes, New Zealand and Australia have such a rich culture of their own accord that I believe has been enhanced considerably by the immigrants we receive. It is so simple to go out for dinner and choose from an Indian, Thai, Mexican, Afghani, Chinese, Lebanese, Japanese or Italian cuisine. Our supermarkets have an enormous variety of food, so it’s not really that unexpected to come here and find that the food is similar, even if there are traditional native meals. I think we actually have more variety of the same types of food in NZ than anywhere else I have been, probably because we import such a lot of our long-life food due to our weenie size.
I was discussing our NZ / Australian traditional food with some native friends yesterday and I explained that really since I was a child, the style of cooking has changed dramatically. It’s common for people to cook Thai meals, Chinese, Mexican etc at home for main meals rather than our basic standard of meat and three veges. I suspect that even my grandparents have changed their style of cooking dramatically since they were first married. I’d like to view a history of Australasian cookbooks and to consider the cuisine in them; I’m sure many of the seemingly standard dishes will have originated from Asia.
All supermarkets here sell more than just food. Rather than just a token aisle with batteries, large old-lady undies and 10 type of men’s socks, you can buy anything from a coffee pot to a heater, mobile phone to computers, label clothing to label or fake-label watches to fresh fruit and meat at any supermarket. All stores sell things in large quantities and people tend to buy things in bulk. I guess it’s because very few people have a store within walking distance, so one doesn’t want to have to go every second day. I haven’t noticed anything strange on the shelves except in the meat section. Camel and ostrich meat are available in large quantities. Fresh ostrich meat looks absolutely disgusting (like it’s dripping in blood), but despite wanting to avoid looking at it as I reach for the ground beef, I can’t help myself but to stare. The ostrich eggs sitting beside it are quite impressive looking too – very large (think big Cadbury Easter egg size) with a thick green shell. I think you’d only need one for an omelette, but I’m not brave enough to try it yet. I do want to try hashi (camel) at some point, but I’ll wait until I trust the cook.
Eating out and takeaway food is reasonably cheap and I think that people either have a cook or they order in – few natives seem to cook for themselves. Most of the women I work with order their lunch in everyday, often from places only slightly healthier than McDonald’s (which of course, is freely available).
One last little comment; if one pays in cash (which most people seem to) and the change you’re entitled to is less than one riyal, it’s common for the cashier to round down to the closest riyal and given you some sugary chewing gum instead of coins. I’m not sure why. I’ve received a few 50 halala coins and 10 packets of gum since I arrived.
Saliq - Arabian Lamb with rice
* 2 pounds lamb cut into 1 inch cubes
* 3 medium onions, finely chopped
* 2 tablesppoons fresh cilantro, finely chopped
* Salt and pepper to taste
* 2 cups milk
* 2 cups rice
* 4 tablespoons butter, melted
METHOD
Simmer meat, onions, cilantro, salt and pepper in 1 cup water in a covered saucepan over low heat for one hour. Add water if pot dries. Remove meat, set aside in warm spot.
Add 2 cups water and milk to stock in which meat was cooked. Bring to a boil. Stir in rice, cover and cook very gently over low heat until the rice is nearly cooked, about 15 minutes. Turn off heat and allow to steam 10 minutes longer.
Place rice on a large serving platter. Arrange pieces of meat on top. Pour melted butter over rice and meat. Serve with a vegetable salad.
Serves: 6
Chicken Kabsa
Chicken kabsa is one of the most popular dishes in Doo. It is considered a staple.
* 1 2/12 - 3 pound chicken, cut into eight pieces
* 1/4 cup vegetable oil
* 2 medium onions, sliced
* 1 (12 ounce) can tomato puree
* 2 medium tomatoes, chopped
* 4 cloves garlic, crushed
* 2 medium carrots, grated
* Grated rind of one orange
* 4 cloves
* 4 cardamom pods
* 3 sticks cinnamon
* Sale and pepper to taste
* 1 pound long grain rice
* 1/4 cup raisins
* 1/4 cup sliced almonds and toasted pinenuts
METHOD
Sautee onion in oil until it begins to brown. Add chicken pieces, tomato puree, chopped tomatoes and garlic and stir for about five minutes over low heat. Stir in three cups hot water, grated carrot, orange rind, spices, salt and pepper to taste. Cook over medium heat, covered, about 20-25 minutes, until chicken is done.
Remove chicken. Set aside to keep warm. Stir rice into the liquid inthe pan, and cook, covered over low heat for about 35 - 40 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed.
Put rice on a serving platter with chicken pieces arranged around the circumfrence. Toss raisins and almonds over all.
Serves: 6
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