I’m not sure what to write about, but it's been an ok week and I feel the need to make an effort to share the good things and bad things, even if they're seemingly trivial. Activities of note include:
1. Confirming my flights and leave for 32 sleeps time to Melbourne & Wellington (and I’m as excited as anyone would be 32 sleeps-out).
2. Finding out that my Arabic teacher can no longer teach me, for an unknown reason.
3. Visiting a women’s only bazaar and watching a talented, confident and beautiful ~130kg teenager with a buzz cut, low-hanging jeans, studded belt and a heavy-metal t-shirt dance in the traditional Doo style, followed by her convincing two veiled young women to join her in a beautiful display. The music sounds like a DJ’s mix of Hindi tracks, American pop and Middle Eastern beats. The dancing seems as though the women is riding a camel. Up and down, up and down, but very smoothly. I can’t testify to the smoothness of a camel ride yet. Still on the to-do list.
4. Attended the horse races in a country where gambling and drinking alcohol is illegal. As fun as it sounds, but the food was good.
5. Had a lovely meal with a new Czech friend who was telling me a bit about her life. She told me that she hates Rongopai people (due to the history of activities in her home country). Something I didn't expect to hear, and I'm not sure how to process. Our friendship continues. For those that kk...
5. Hearing Abu Majeed’s new phrase when the religious police are in site. They routinely yell “Cover your hair woman!” so he’s taken to saying “Cover your hair, open your abayya” under his breath. Amusing, but quite naughty. This week, he was heard by one of the men as they walked past. They asked him to repeat what he’d said, and he looked at them very innocently before they walked away thank goodness!
6. Discussing the fear that my 8 new Czech friends had about sitting their English exam this week. I reassured them that I understood them perfectly well, and I was confident they would be fine. Unfortunately, only 5 of 20 girls achieved the pass rate of 65%. They were appeased by the thought that it is too much of a hassle for the hospital put them all back on a plane home. And so far, so good.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Morphing of life in Doo
Things keep changing here as time goes by. My recreational activities are developing and my job keeps changing in a positive way.
I was shopping a couple of weeks ago and a Doo woman came up to me and asked if I taught English. I said that I’m not a professional teacher, but that I’m tutoring another woman, so she asked me if I would teach her. She took my number and I didn’t really expect to hear from her. A week later, her husband phoned me to discuss the details of our arrangement. I met her and her husband at a local bookstore and we chose a textbook together and had coffee while we planned it. Sarah and Mahmoud are moving with their children to Florida in the summer for his sabbatical (he’s an Entomologist). During their previous 4-year stint in the US, Sarah only ever met with Arabic-speaking women, so her English conversation skills are fairly limited, but she understands much more than she can speak. I’m really pleased to be working with her and I had a great time speaking with her kids yesterday although the 3yo looked like he thought I was planning to eat him for dinner. Lara, the 12yo speaks English very well, and smiled at me the entire 3 hours I was at her home! So my weeknights and one weekend afternoon are now entirely focused on language learning / teaching. It’s fun and such a gift of opportunity to get to know 2 Doo women and their families.
Work has been fairly chaotic this week. My boss had asked me to supervise a large project we’re planning to revise every form in the hospital (in the hundreds, if not over 1000 I suspect). I’d agreed as I’m already getting a little bit bored with the admin side of my role, so a new challenge was welcome. Later in the week, he was informed that he now has an additional role of running the Statistics & Planning team. I’m not sure what that makes my title, but Khalid suggested it is likely to change to a project role. I had to proceed to drafting job descriptions and a strategic plan for a team I know very little about, but the Australian Institute for Health & Welfare website was very helpful. I’ve told Dad he needs to include a beginner’s tutorial on the NZ stats website . I’ve been asked to plan another project to develop an annual statistics guide for the hospital, and also a major review of the eligibility criteria for our patients. It’s a busy time, but I’m enjoying the challenges and once again, I’m grateful for the opportunities, and especially for my boss.
I was shopping a couple of weeks ago and a Doo woman came up to me and asked if I taught English. I said that I’m not a professional teacher, but that I’m tutoring another woman, so she asked me if I would teach her. She took my number and I didn’t really expect to hear from her. A week later, her husband phoned me to discuss the details of our arrangement. I met her and her husband at a local bookstore and we chose a textbook together and had coffee while we planned it. Sarah and Mahmoud are moving with their children to Florida in the summer for his sabbatical (he’s an Entomologist). During their previous 4-year stint in the US, Sarah only ever met with Arabic-speaking women, so her English conversation skills are fairly limited, but she understands much more than she can speak. I’m really pleased to be working with her and I had a great time speaking with her kids yesterday although the 3yo looked like he thought I was planning to eat him for dinner. Lara, the 12yo speaks English very well, and smiled at me the entire 3 hours I was at her home! So my weeknights and one weekend afternoon are now entirely focused on language learning / teaching. It’s fun and such a gift of opportunity to get to know 2 Doo women and their families.
Work has been fairly chaotic this week. My boss had asked me to supervise a large project we’re planning to revise every form in the hospital (in the hundreds, if not over 1000 I suspect). I’d agreed as I’m already getting a little bit bored with the admin side of my role, so a new challenge was welcome. Later in the week, he was informed that he now has an additional role of running the Statistics & Planning team. I’m not sure what that makes my title, but Khalid suggested it is likely to change to a project role. I had to proceed to drafting job descriptions and a strategic plan for a team I know very little about, but the Australian Institute for Health & Welfare website was very helpful. I’ve told Dad he needs to include a beginner’s tutorial on the NZ stats website . I’ve been asked to plan another project to develop an annual statistics guide for the hospital, and also a major review of the eligibility criteria for our patients. It’s a busy time, but I’m enjoying the challenges and once again, I’m grateful for the opportunities, and especially for my boss.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
One of the nasties: the god of money
This isn’t really about Doo, rather, it addresses one of the challenges I’ve been facing recently.
I’ve been worshipping the god of money. Since I arrived here, I’ve had an ongoing battle with feelings of entitlement, being undervalued by my employer, poorly compensated by the agency that got me here and general greediness, despite being one of the only foreigners who haven’t come to work here because of the tax-free salary. I’ve regularly fallen into the trap of thinking that I am here for the money and forgetting the real reason; since the money isn’t great, and the lifestyle is often difficult, I use my energy to be huffy about getting on the plane and coming home.
My salary is sufficient but it’s not good. I can live comfortably here without planning international adventures every 3mths like any of the nurses can who earn 150% of my salary. I hope to be able to pay off my student debt while I’m here, but now that I know what it costs to live here (about 5x what the agency told me), I realize it’s going to take me a lot longer. It’s occurred to me on the days when I forget the truth about why I’m here, that the lack of progress in my bank account might be the only way the big man can get me to extend my stay here beyond next week! While the thought is a bit funny, it encourages me again to be woeful about my financial situation and to ignore the truthful reasons behind this adventure; my desire to learn Arabic, to form relationships with Doo women and to learn more about fuzzy culture and faith. I’m doing all of these things and I’m so grateful for the opportunities that have opened up. I’m sorry that I’ve shifted my focus, and I’m trying to put things in place to prevent me from falling again.
I’ve been worshipping the god of money. Since I arrived here, I’ve had an ongoing battle with feelings of entitlement, being undervalued by my employer, poorly compensated by the agency that got me here and general greediness, despite being one of the only foreigners who haven’t come to work here because of the tax-free salary. I’ve regularly fallen into the trap of thinking that I am here for the money and forgetting the real reason; since the money isn’t great, and the lifestyle is often difficult, I use my energy to be huffy about getting on the plane and coming home.
My salary is sufficient but it’s not good. I can live comfortably here without planning international adventures every 3mths like any of the nurses can who earn 150% of my salary. I hope to be able to pay off my student debt while I’m here, but now that I know what it costs to live here (about 5x what the agency told me), I realize it’s going to take me a lot longer. It’s occurred to me on the days when I forget the truth about why I’m here, that the lack of progress in my bank account might be the only way the big man can get me to extend my stay here beyond next week! While the thought is a bit funny, it encourages me again to be woeful about my financial situation and to ignore the truthful reasons behind this adventure; my desire to learn Arabic, to form relationships with Doo women and to learn more about fuzzy culture and faith. I’m doing all of these things and I’m so grateful for the opportunities that have opened up. I’m sorry that I’ve shifted my focus, and I’m trying to put things in place to prevent me from falling again.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Half-half
My favourite taxi driver’s name is Abu Majeed. He’s a Kingdom native, and as I’ve mentioned before, has been very helpful for my Arabic as he refuses to take me anywhere or acknowledge my comments if I speak in English. Last week, he collected me after an Arabic class and I told him that I’d been learning about food, ordering items in a restaurant and describing thin and not-so-thin people. Abu Majeed calls me Ko-haela. I’m not sure why – I think he misheard me the first time I said my name, but it’s now become a running joke, and any of my friends that travel with me think it’s hilarious.
On the way back from class, Abu Majeed was testing my Arabic and asking me about different people and their size. Then he said Ko-haela mafi thaqil, mafi khafif, Ko-haela half-half. It means I’m not heavy, I’m not light, I’m half-half ☺. He then went onto sing a song about me being half-half and jameela (beautiful). What a treasure.
On the way back from class, Abu Majeed was testing my Arabic and asking me about different people and their size. Then he said Ko-haela mafi thaqil, mafi khafif, Ko-haela half-half. It means I’m not heavy, I’m not light, I’m half-half ☺. He then went onto sing a song about me being half-half and jameela (beautiful). What a treasure.
Rights & Attitudes
Khalid, my boss, is quickly becoming a conversation-buddy of mine with topics ranging from health insurance (his pet interest) to the Israel-Palestinian war to evidence-based practice, to education to the US government. I discovered this week that he is a very well known and respected columnist for a daily paper.
Recently, Khalid mentioned to me that a certain senior employee of the hospital had made it clear that all our policies needed to meet the UN Human Rights Charter. I laughed, thinking that he was kidding (I mean, of course), but he was serious. I quickly said that as far as I was aware of the charter, (admittedly not aware of the finer details) that the existing policies met all the requirements, particularly because we feed, water and provide a nice roof for our patients (!) but I agreed to obtain a copy of the charter. I was quite surprised to find that one of the articles states that it is a right to obtain equal pay for equal work without discrimination. It is widely known that the Kingdom does not provide equal pay for equal work. Salaries are dependent firstly on your country (or zone) of origin, then your education and experience. It is something that I’ve found difficult to come to terms with here, particularly because the difference in pay for those employees from the Far East in comparison to those from the West. The salary difference is dramatic. Naturally, it causes some friction, which I’ve addressed in previous posts. The treatment of, way of speaking to and expectations of certain nationalities here often upsets me.
I was unsure about how to bring this up with Khalid, so I gingerly brought up the topic and was very surprised at his response. He genuinely believed that zone-based salaries existed all over the world, including NZ & Australia. I explained that in general, salaries are based on experience and education, and not at all linked to place of origin. He then said he thought the charter doesn’t take into account zone of origin. I carefully said that I thought without discrimination meant without zones. He didn’t agree, but was open to the possibility. His final comment floored me. He said “well, I’m sure it’s because you don’t have any “nationality” working in Australia. I caught my breath and assured him that we did, and that they are paid the same wage based on experience. Khalid took my print-out of the charter and highlighted it. I’m not sure whether he plans to address it, but if you see anything in the news about the salaries changing dramatically at a hospital in the Kingdom, you know it started with me!
Reflecting on this conversation, I think what surprises me the most is the ignorance. Khalid is a kind, well-educated, intelligent and delightful man who has spent a few years living in a Western country. He genuinely believes that zone-payments are reasonable, and believed that it is standard practice all over the world. His lack of knowledge has changed my perspective on some of the attitudes and behaviours that frustrate me here. Perhaps there isn’t as much deliberate arrogance as I suspected. I don’t think ignorance is an excuse, but it does make me react more kindly to those attitudes, and encourages me to address the topics in conversation, in as much as I have a little understanding.
Recently, Khalid mentioned to me that a certain senior employee of the hospital had made it clear that all our policies needed to meet the UN Human Rights Charter. I laughed, thinking that he was kidding (I mean, of course), but he was serious. I quickly said that as far as I was aware of the charter, (admittedly not aware of the finer details) that the existing policies met all the requirements, particularly because we feed, water and provide a nice roof for our patients (!) but I agreed to obtain a copy of the charter. I was quite surprised to find that one of the articles states that it is a right to obtain equal pay for equal work without discrimination. It is widely known that the Kingdom does not provide equal pay for equal work. Salaries are dependent firstly on your country (or zone) of origin, then your education and experience. It is something that I’ve found difficult to come to terms with here, particularly because the difference in pay for those employees from the Far East in comparison to those from the West. The salary difference is dramatic. Naturally, it causes some friction, which I’ve addressed in previous posts. The treatment of, way of speaking to and expectations of certain nationalities here often upsets me.
I was unsure about how to bring this up with Khalid, so I gingerly brought up the topic and was very surprised at his response. He genuinely believed that zone-based salaries existed all over the world, including NZ & Australia. I explained that in general, salaries are based on experience and education, and not at all linked to place of origin. He then said he thought the charter doesn’t take into account zone of origin. I carefully said that I thought without discrimination meant without zones. He didn’t agree, but was open to the possibility. His final comment floored me. He said “well, I’m sure it’s because you don’t have any “nationality” working in Australia. I caught my breath and assured him that we did, and that they are paid the same wage based on experience. Khalid took my print-out of the charter and highlighted it. I’m not sure whether he plans to address it, but if you see anything in the news about the salaries changing dramatically at a hospital in the Kingdom, you know it started with me!
Reflecting on this conversation, I think what surprises me the most is the ignorance. Khalid is a kind, well-educated, intelligent and delightful man who has spent a few years living in a Western country. He genuinely believes that zone-payments are reasonable, and believed that it is standard practice all over the world. His lack of knowledge has changed my perspective on some of the attitudes and behaviours that frustrate me here. Perhaps there isn’t as much deliberate arrogance as I suspected. I don’t think ignorance is an excuse, but it does make me react more kindly to those attitudes, and encourages me to address the topics in conversation, in as much as I have a little understanding.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
A Cultural Difference that isn't Fuzzy related.
Westerners that I spend time with here often talk about the locals needing a dose of reality, but the fact is, this is their reality, and we’ve invaded with a different reality and different history. While some of their reality is considered inhumane by the world’s standards, my friends and I frown about much of what we find frustrating upon simply due to our lack of understanding of their culture and religion, which are so intricately linked.
Until last week, I wasn’t really aware of any actions or attitudes that were cultural only, i.e. didn’t have a strong fuzzy link. My Arabic teacher gave me some insight into one aspect of her culture that she said is not at all related to fuzzy – it is common to DOO people only and I think you’ll find it as interesting as I do.
She had told me previously about how her home is separated in two halves – one for males and one for females. She and her husband live upstairs together, but when they have guests, they each entertain in the area dedicated to males/females respectively. What I hadn’t understood is that they never entertain together, and never even at the same time (for the sake of difficulties in delivering two sets of refreshments in the one house at the same time).
She has NEVER met her husband’s male friends, and he has NEVER met any of her female friends, although they do talk to one another about their friends. Neither one has any friends of the opposite sex. The only interaction they have with one another as a married couple is when they are in their home together alone, and occasionally at family gatherings, but more often than not, they only attend separately i.e. her to her family, and him to his.
I asked her about whether they do anything together outside of the home, and she said that they go shopping together, but if one of them sees a friend, the other disappears to allow the friends to catch up. I asked if she would meet his friends when she was veiled, which is when she explained that while she can under fuzzy laws, it is not a fuzzy issue – it’s cultural that they don’t mix. She said it’s a cultural feature in most of the Gulf countries.
I just can’t get my head around this. I asked her if she understood how our marriages and relationships work, and she does, so found my utter surprise understandable, if not a little amusing. What are your thoughts? Can you imagine this? How do you think it would make your friendships different to ours? What about your relationship to your spouse?
Until last week, I wasn’t really aware of any actions or attitudes that were cultural only, i.e. didn’t have a strong fuzzy link. My Arabic teacher gave me some insight into one aspect of her culture that she said is not at all related to fuzzy – it is common to DOO people only and I think you’ll find it as interesting as I do.
She had told me previously about how her home is separated in two halves – one for males and one for females. She and her husband live upstairs together, but when they have guests, they each entertain in the area dedicated to males/females respectively. What I hadn’t understood is that they never entertain together, and never even at the same time (for the sake of difficulties in delivering two sets of refreshments in the one house at the same time).
She has NEVER met her husband’s male friends, and he has NEVER met any of her female friends, although they do talk to one another about their friends. Neither one has any friends of the opposite sex. The only interaction they have with one another as a married couple is when they are in their home together alone, and occasionally at family gatherings, but more often than not, they only attend separately i.e. her to her family, and him to his.
I asked her about whether they do anything together outside of the home, and she said that they go shopping together, but if one of them sees a friend, the other disappears to allow the friends to catch up. I asked if she would meet his friends when she was veiled, which is when she explained that while she can under fuzzy laws, it is not a fuzzy issue – it’s cultural that they don’t mix. She said it’s a cultural feature in most of the Gulf countries.
I just can’t get my head around this. I asked her if she understood how our marriages and relationships work, and she does, so found my utter surprise understandable, if not a little amusing. What are your thoughts? Can you imagine this? How do you think it would make your friendships different to ours? What about your relationship to your spouse?
Happy New Year
I’ve had a long delay in my blog, so apologies to those who’ve been waiting (Mum!). Partly it’s because I haven’t felt like writing and partly, I haven’t had the time to sit down at the computer. I did write a short newsletter about my first two months here that most of you should have received via my dear friend Jen…if not, please let me know via email and I’ll make sure you get a copy.
Happy New Year to you all. I’m not much one for reflection / goals at New Year, but it seems particularly important this year now that I’m living in a completely new world, have developed new goals in order to get here (or perhaps finally put them into action), and really have no idea what is to come. I had a poster on my bedroom wall when I was small that had a cute kitten on it, and said “I know where I’m coming from, and He knows where I’m going”. I’ve thought about that phrase many times over the years, and superficially, it’s always relevant, and occasionally, it has had very specific meaning for me. Now is one of those times. I’ve wanted to come to live and work in the M.E for many years. I think I first had the desire when I was around 15 or 16 years old. When I thought about it back then, I expected to come here with my husband and kids and live in a tent, kill my own goat for dinner, and help people in some ulterior way ☺. The goal never really left me, but things and life got in the way, and I continued preparing in the only way I knew how – by trying to grow in my ‘relationship’, and educating myself in ways that would benefit others and me if I came. I’m here, and I’m not sure I ever thought much about what would happen when I arrived. I can remember what I knew of DOO when it was first mentioned as a potential place to live, i.e. very little. It’s impossible to reconcile that weak, incomplete thought and memory with what I now know of DOO. I sometimes wonder what you think about DOO now after reading my blog, and whether it has changed your understanding of the place, or just made it seem more surreal. Hopefully, at least, it’s given you a sense of curiosity and increased your knowledge of somewhere so far away from home.
Now that I’m here, and I’m contemplating at least, another 10 months here, I’m rethinking my goals, and what it means for me to be living here with a rongopai focus. My primary goal has always been to learn Arabic, firstly because it makes it much easier and more respectful to get to know the locals and their life and share my own experience, and secondly because it will open up career opportunities in the community health area that I want to work. That is still my main goal, and while I really enjoying studying Arabic, I wonder what I’ll do with it if I do find myself leaving after a year to come home. I certainly came with no specific plans to return to Australasia, but I feel so very strongly at the moment about wanting to return to my comfortable job and life in Melbourne with my friends (and godsons!) and so close to my family. Is it just homesickness? Have my goals and dreams of helping to save the world’s health changed (in both senses of the word health)? Is it Him changing my mind/heart to His or me being tugged away by the other? I don’t know, but this is one of the things that I’m thinking and kk’g about as 2009 rolls on in.
Happy New Year to you all. I’m not much one for reflection / goals at New Year, but it seems particularly important this year now that I’m living in a completely new world, have developed new goals in order to get here (or perhaps finally put them into action), and really have no idea what is to come. I had a poster on my bedroom wall when I was small that had a cute kitten on it, and said “I know where I’m coming from, and He knows where I’m going”. I’ve thought about that phrase many times over the years, and superficially, it’s always relevant, and occasionally, it has had very specific meaning for me. Now is one of those times. I’ve wanted to come to live and work in the M.E for many years. I think I first had the desire when I was around 15 or 16 years old. When I thought about it back then, I expected to come here with my husband and kids and live in a tent, kill my own goat for dinner, and help people in some ulterior way ☺. The goal never really left me, but things and life got in the way, and I continued preparing in the only way I knew how – by trying to grow in my ‘relationship’, and educating myself in ways that would benefit others and me if I came. I’m here, and I’m not sure I ever thought much about what would happen when I arrived. I can remember what I knew of DOO when it was first mentioned as a potential place to live, i.e. very little. It’s impossible to reconcile that weak, incomplete thought and memory with what I now know of DOO. I sometimes wonder what you think about DOO now after reading my blog, and whether it has changed your understanding of the place, or just made it seem more surreal. Hopefully, at least, it’s given you a sense of curiosity and increased your knowledge of somewhere so far away from home.
Now that I’m here, and I’m contemplating at least, another 10 months here, I’m rethinking my goals, and what it means for me to be living here with a rongopai focus. My primary goal has always been to learn Arabic, firstly because it makes it much easier and more respectful to get to know the locals and their life and share my own experience, and secondly because it will open up career opportunities in the community health area that I want to work. That is still my main goal, and while I really enjoying studying Arabic, I wonder what I’ll do with it if I do find myself leaving after a year to come home. I certainly came with no specific plans to return to Australasia, but I feel so very strongly at the moment about wanting to return to my comfortable job and life in Melbourne with my friends (and godsons!) and so close to my family. Is it just homesickness? Have my goals and dreams of helping to save the world’s health changed (in both senses of the word health)? Is it Him changing my mind/heart to His or me being tugged away by the other? I don’t know, but this is one of the things that I’m thinking and kk’g about as 2009 rolls on in.
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