Happy New Year

I’ve had a long delay in my blog, so apologies to those who’ve been waiting (Mum!). Partly it’s because I haven’t felt like writing and partly, I haven’t had the time to sit down at the computer. I did write a short newsletter about my first two months here that most of you should have received via my dear friend Jen…if not, please let me know via email and I’ll make sure you get a copy.

Happy New Year to you all. I’m not much one for reflection / goals at New Year, but it seems particularly important this year now that I’m living in a completely new world, have developed new goals in order to get here (or perhaps finally put them into action), and really have no idea what is to come. I had a poster on my bedroom wall when I was small that had a cute kitten on it, and said “I know where I’m coming from, and He knows where I’m going”. I’ve thought about that phrase many times over the years, and superficially, it’s always relevant, and occasionally, it has had very specific meaning for me. Now is one of those times. I’ve wanted to come to live and work in the M.E for many years. I think I first had the desire when I was around 15 or 16 years old. When I thought about it back then, I expected to come here with my husband and kids and live in a tent, kill my own goat for dinner, and help people in some ulterior way ☺. The goal never really left me, but things and life got in the way, and I continued preparing in the only way I knew how – by trying to grow in my ‘relationship’, and educating myself in ways that would benefit others and me if I came. I’m here, and I’m not sure I ever thought much about what would happen when I arrived. I can remember what I knew of DOO when it was first mentioned as a potential place to live, i.e. very little. It’s impossible to reconcile that weak, incomplete thought and memory with what I now know of DOO. I sometimes wonder what you think about DOO now after reading my blog, and whether it has changed your understanding of the place, or just made it seem more surreal. Hopefully, at least, it’s given you a sense of curiosity and increased your knowledge of somewhere so far away from home.

Now that I’m here, and I’m contemplating at least, another 10 months here, I’m rethinking my goals, and what it means for me to be living here with a rongopai focus. My primary goal has always been to learn Arabic, firstly because it makes it much easier and more respectful to get to know the locals and their life and share my own experience, and secondly because it will open up career opportunities in the community health area that I want to work. That is still my main goal, and while I really enjoying studying Arabic, I wonder what I’ll do with it if I do find myself leaving after a year to come home. I certainly came with no specific plans to return to Australasia, but I feel so very strongly at the moment about wanting to return to my comfortable job and life in Melbourne with my friends (and godsons!) and so close to my family. Is it just homesickness? Have my goals and dreams of helping to save the world’s health changed (in both senses of the word health)? Is it Him changing my mind/heart to His or me being tugged away by the other? I don’t know, but this is one of the things that I’m thinking and kk’g about as 2009 rolls on in.